A renowned text on an unconventional and taboo topic in (most) society, the Kama Sutra deals with sexual positions and human desires. An ancient text that had its origins in the Hindu religion, this book has earned the distinction of having schooled innumerable couples since time immemorial in the art of lovemaking.
However, American novelist Simon Rich and cartoonist Farley Katz have given the book a makeover in coming out with A Kama Sutra for Married Couple– the least erotic manual ever created in the world.
A book of love with an unsexy twist, this guide is a light-hearted and humorous approach to the circumstances in our lives when romance takes a backseat up against everyday activities. Here we take a look at some of these positions as illustrated in the book.
The Prodding Position
When the woman performs the task of cleaning an area close to the man’s feet as a means of implying that he too should be lending a helping hand with the cleaning, it is known as the prodding position.
The Shifting of the Standards
When the man passes gas in front of the woman and does not think it worthwhile to so much as apologize for his unsavory activity, it is called as the shifting of the standards.
The Dishwasher Position
The man is entrusted with the responsibility of loading the dishwasher and the woman needs to come over because he is doing it all wrong. This is known as the dishwasher position.
A Close Call
When the woman enters the room and the man has to close his laptop quickly for he was busy looking up some of his ex-girlfriends on Facebook, it is known as the position of A Close Call.
The Wounded Hippopotamus
The woman is in need of some help with moving the furnitures. However, she does not ask the man and instead hires the local teenager who takes off his shirt in front of the woman in order to be more comfortable with his task. The man, meanwhile, watches her staring at the boy with a look in her eyes that has been unknown to him for many years. This is the position of the wounded hippopotamus.
The Interrupted Congress
The man kisses the woman lightly on the neck; the woman tenderly strokes him around the chest; the child comes running into the room screaming. Apparently, he heard a scary noise or some other bullshit. This forms the position of the interrupted congress.
The Perverse Lovebirds
When the man and woman are at dinner with another married couple who have problems that are far worse than their own, and they squeeze each other’s hands beneath the table while flashing each other grins of superiority, it is known as the position of the perverse lovebirds.
A Moment’s Peace
With the man away with other men travelling to a sports event, the woman drinks wine out of a box and makes best use of his absence to have a long, hot bath. This is known as the position of a moment’s peace.
The Married Kama Sutra: The World’s Least Erotic Sex Manual can be purchased online from Amazon.